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Patrickz Leg
I was online a cold-ass lil couple muthafuckin years ago at like round 1:00 as a big-ass hustla as a kid n' tha freshly smoked up episodes they show on TV is complete shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So afta goin all up in shitty qualitizzle vizzlez on foreign joints n' other sites flooded wit ads, I came upon a unstraight-up legit joint dat had full episodes n' ad-free. Ok, tha qualitizzle wasn't pimped out yo, but betta than most of tha joints, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. On tha bottom was a link dat holla'd "SpunkBizzle Lost Episode". Bein a cold-ass lil complete doofus I clicked on it, when I clicked on it I thought dat shiznit was probably a screamer or somethang yo, but I clicked on it anyway . I was bugged out enough ta click on tha vizzle n' peep dat shit. I straight-up forgot bout lookin fo' oldschool episodes. Da episode vizzle had skanky qualitizzle n' tha episode itself was pretty much forgotten by tha writers. Like every last muthafuckin episode, it started wit tha theme song. Da title card read "Patrickz Leg" wit tha aiiight fun-filled bubble lettas we all know n' love. Da first thang dat didn't seem right was dat afta tha title card, tha transition, instead of bubbles, dat shiznit was just a funky-ass blur tha fuck into tha beginnin of tha episode. It started up as a harmless SpunkBizzle episode, wit SpunkBizzle n' Patrick watchin tha sunset. But then Patrick decides ta go sandboarding, so they do. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So far a pimpin' aiiight episode. Patrick then tries ta do some sort of trick on his sandboard but fails fo' realz. As a result, Patrick falls n' breaks his fuckin leg, n' SpunkBizzle goes afta his ass ta peep if he aiiight. Durin dis scene, instead of tha usual 'Hawaiian themed' beatz, mo' suspenseful, straight-up noize plays fo' realz. Also, Patrick screams a mo' fucked up scream than he probably would. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Enough dat I could feel dat shit. Well, I guess dat make sense, he just BROKE his fuckin leg. Nothang dat is too far outta tha ordinary, right? Well, other than tha openin n' tha noize up in dat one scene, itz goin pretty much like any ordinary episode. Da next scene takes place all up in tha hospitizzle, where tha doctor drops some lyrics ta Patrick he need ta be up in a wheelchair fo' a lil while fo' realz. As they strutt out, SpunkBizzle is pushin Patrick up in his wheelchair when they run tha fuck into some hoes. Da hoes start poppin' off ta Patrick cuz of his fuckin leg n' ask if they can sign his cast as they strutt away wit Patrick, leavin SpunkBizzle by his dirty ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So far itz goin like a aiiight episode. I don't remember what tha fuck happened all up in tha episode so I be bout ta skip some scenes. This is where it gets creepy. Lata dat night, SpunkBizzle knocks at Patrickz door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. In dis scene, tha backgroundz look mo' realistic than usual. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat I tried ta ignore dat shit. When Patrick opens tha door Spongebob drops some lyrics ta Patrick dat he forbidz his ass ta peep dem hoes eva again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Patrick gets furious, not as da ruffneck do normally. This be a gangbangin' fit of mo' realistic anger, n' tha pimpin' muthafucka drops some lyrics ta Spongebob dat dat schmoooove muthafucka hates his muthafuckin ass. Da hoes leave up in fear. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. This is when I started ta feel funky bout dis episode. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SpunkBizzle then screams, up in a unusually deep voice, suttin' like"...oh yeah, biatch? Well, as long as you don't give a fuck bout me, I can do this..." n' then starts whoopin Patrickz fucked up leg violently wit a rock fo' realz. Afta that, tha screen goes ta static fo' a gangbangin' fraction of a second n' cuts ta a scene where Spongebob n' Patrick is apologizin fo' suttin' durin tha daytime, except tha linin of tha animation n' tha voices don't match up. Da animation up in dis scene is straight-up skanky as if dat shiznit was a loop, n' it goes on fo' a phat 4 or 5 minutes. I was straight-up creeped up yo, but I wanted ta peep how tha fuck it ended. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da screen goes black fo' a minute or two, and then cuts ta a scene from another episode, where Patrick has Jeffery Jellyfish up in a wagon n' say "C'mon Jefferey.", n' tha screen goes black again, dis time fo' only bout 30 secondz n' cuts ta a CG animation of Patrick cuttin SpunkBizzlez stomach open wit a piece of fucked up coral wit realistic blood gushin up while lookin all up in tha screen wit bloodshot dilated eyes yo. His grill don't move yo, but you can faintly hear his ass say "I knew dis dizzle would come!!!" wit a echoey voice. Yo ass can also hear SpunkBizzle bustin up fo' some reason. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da scene goes on fo' another 3 minutes yo, but not a god damn thang is heard but static which gets louder n' louder until itz unbearably loud. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Then tha aiiight credits come on yo, but wit a straight-up faint image of tha last scene still showing. My fuckin god, dat image is ghon be burned up in mah mind forever n' shit. Da United Plankton logo aint shown as usual. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack fo' realz. Afta tha vizzle was over, it froze, so I had ta reload tha page yo, but it wasn't available. I couldn't even find tha joint no mo'. Even when I looked up "Patrickz Leg," not a god damn thang came up. I KNOW if you don't believe me yo, but I know what tha fuck I saw, even if dat shiznit was at 1:00 up in tha morning. What tha hell was I even bustin online at dat time, biatch? Well, I had ta git rid of dat computa I peeped tha episode on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Even afta a cold-ass lil complete reformatting, it never hit dat shiznit erectly. Da episode file could never be deleted from it n' it kept openin on its own. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I wiped tha hard drive clean nuff muthafuckin times n' tha episode wouldn't go away. Da sound control didn't work n' dat shiznit was a laptop yo, but tha juice never seemed ta run up n' I couldn't git it ta turn off. I was goin ta keep tha computa just so I'd gotz a cold-ass lil copy of tha lost episode yo, but lookin at dat shiznit was makin me nervous. I had a recurrin nightmare nuff muthafuckin nights up in a row Da episode was playin yo, but instead of tha photo-realistic Spongebob corpse, dat shiznit was me at ten muthafuckin years old. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I found a picture of mah dirty ass at 10 n' tha nightmare was closer ta it than mah own memory had been. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I swear...that picture of mah dirty ass at 10, dead, started flashin on tha computa screen so quickly dat I could never be shizzle fo' realz. Afta that, I fucked wit tha computer n' shit. Determined ta git ta tha bottom of this, I kept searchin online. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feelin dis shiznit! I found one of mah thugs whoz ass holla'd they had a funky-ass blue-ray STD of it they would push ta mah dirty ass. I was straight-up trippin but determined ta smoke up tha real deal bout dis n' end tha matter n' shit. I looted tha tape as well as a straight-up oldschool n' skanky Blu Ray playa since I had a gangbangin' feelin neither would be tha same afta I peeped tha episode. Da episode was pretty much tha same as tha file I downloaded...I don't wanna say any more; dis wasn't worth it n' I'd give anythang ta go back ta how tha fuck I felt when I had tha computa wit tha file scarin mah dirty ass. I fucked wit tha tape yo, but it didn't help . Da commercials on tha tape... I don't wanna remember dem wild-ass muthafuckas. There was monstas from mah trips I had never holla'd at mah playas about, shizzle promos bout tragedies dat hadn't happened yet, surreal computer-generated animation dat wouldn't done been possible up in tha 80s - or now fo' dat matter n' shiznit fo' realz. A forma playa peeped it wit me yo, but da perved-out muthafucka saw straight-up different thangs, wit one exception. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. There was a seemingly live shizzle report from June 18, 2014. Well shiiiit, it Said That Muthafuckas Were Found Cut Open up in Their Sleep, I be shizzle you can git into what tha fuck Cut Open could Have Been By... I Wanted To Know Mo'... Mo' Bout Da Episode Then There Has To Be... I Found Da Episode On My fuckin Computer... Then It Disappeared from My fuckin Laptop FOREVER! Da Nightmares Stopped... I Didn't wanna Go tha fuck into Patrickz Leg Anymore Just Thinkin Bout Made Me Sick... But Still... I Wonder n' shit. What Actually Happened. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Then one dizzle I saw mah playa searchin up " Patrickz Leg" I yelled at her n' holla'd at her never ta do dat eva again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I known her since forever dat biiiiatch was mah dopest playa yo, but it ain't no stoppin cause I be still poppin'. I went ta her doggy den cuz dat shiznit was her Birthday. It make me wanna hollar playa! I strutted up in cause I had a key. I looked everywhere fo' her n' shit. When I was gettin locked n loaded ta leave, I saw her tv playin "Patrickz Leg". Well shiiiit, it freaked mah crazy ass out. Da five-o never straight-up investigated. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. I looted it up so much ta tha police, I became a regular. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. I don't give a fuck how tha fuck ta move on from this...